Occupational hazard

From George Eliot's character Mary Garth in Middlemarch:

Oh, I have an easy life--by comparison. I have tried being a teacher, but I am not fit for that: my mind is too fond of wandering on its own way. I think that hardship is better than pretending to do what one is paid for, and never really doing it.

Heck yes. That last sentiment may very well be this year's motto for me. Going to graduate school is going to be so so so expensive. I have applied, been accepted, and registered for classes, and I am just now calculating how much this is going to cost me. But, as Mary points out, living a difficult life in debt, eating ramen--you've heard it all before-- can't be any worse than the full-time position (it's not teaching, though) that I plan to walk away from in just over 2 weeks.

It's not a bad job, and I shouldn't complain about (nor quit, perhaps?) any job in the current financial climate, or economic crisis or however we're addressing the sinusoidal plunge into what appears to be hopelessly shark-infested (-invested?) waters. The problem is that I have way too much free time in an eight-hour day and way too much personal research I am tempted to conduct on my company's time. Not only am I starting grad school, but I'm also planning a Wedding this year. With internet access and a "privacy hutch," as I call it, I have way too much opportunity to plan! Or register! Or vent! But this would be ethically bad of me. If only I was kept too busy to allow my mind to fondly wander. But then I might not be pursuing my advanced-degree dreams after all.

P. S. The runner-up Middlemarch quote-of-my-year:

The bethrothed bride must see her future home, and dictate any changes that she would like to have made there. A woman dictates before marriage in order that she may have an appetite for submission afterwards.

Tee hee.